surrender

By Wendy Grunthal

Have you heard the Dido song that goes, “And I won't put my hands up and surrender.
There will be no white flag above my door… ?” Lately, I have been singing different words to that tune. They go like this, “I will lift my arms up and surrender. They’ll be a white flag hanging in the sky…” 

Surrender. I imagine little beads of water rolling off my arms. The opposite of surrender is resistance. When we resist, we fight. When we surrender, we give up. While we were taught from a young age, Never give up, there are some things we need to give up. Some things are just not worth the fight. 

I am writing this reflection tired and stressed. I have been with three two year old boys all day during which time our new refrigerator arrived at our house after our previous one broke down after only three years. I tried to give the two year olds crayons to draw with while I cleaned out the packaging, wiped down and restocked our new fridge and the two year olds didn’t sit and draw. They dumped out, broke and bit the paper off the crayons. One two year old needed to check out the new fridge. 

And, this is just another moment in my life of taking care of two year olds. My nerves get shot, I lose my patience and I get stressed. And, all I can do is surrender. Envision the beads rolling off my arms. And, well, that helps. 

Surrender to the chaos, surrender to the mess, surrender to the two year olds doing things their way. Let it roll off my arms. Let it go. I can not control two year olds. I can only guide them with love and patience. They test and test and test that love and patience and the patience is not infinite. It runs out. And, I need to breathe and let go. Surrender. 

What do you need to surrender to in your life? What can you give up? What can you let go? Are you resisting something that is not worth the fight? Maybe you, too, can imagine a white flag hanging from the sky.